September heralds the beginning of autumn, and last Wednesday (23rd) we had the Autumn Equinox – which means that Planet Earth has begun to turn her energies inward and is preparing for the period of rest and reflection that comes in the winter months.
As the trees become bare and the evenings become darker, we have to face the fact that all things must pass. Autumn is a time of transition from the profusion of summer flowers and the abundance of the harvest which follows. Many people find great joy in witnessing the glorious shades of orange, yellow and red that manifest at this time of year and declare that autumn is their favourite season. But for others, the falling leaves and shorter days can bring up a sense of impending loss and melancholy.
Autumn is all about change. And change can be challenging. We’re apt to prefer the status quo and on the whole, the majority of people tend not to enjoy being pulled out of their comfort zones. But life is about change because nothing ever stays the same. We’re born, we live and we die. All living things go through this cycle. Even the mountains and rocks are subject to change for they too grow, erode and decay. Mini-cycles of birthing and dying are happening all the time within each of our lives. We see this in the ending of relationships and other attachments, in things that manifest into our lives only to disappear once again, and in the way the physical body changes over time.
Change is the only constant in life. Nothing grows without going through changes.
Autumn is also about letting go, and that can be very hard – especially if we don’t want to let go and are clinging onto a person, a place or a situation for dear life. Sometimes this feels like being torn apart. But if you can let go, you’ll just feel a sense of relief as you acknowledge that a relationship, a possession or a home has run its full cycle and that it’s time to end and say goodbye. Letting go is also about remembering that it’s good to make space for something new to come into your life. Introducing fresh energy into your world can be stimulating, exciting and inspirational. It can be creative. It can bring new understandings and attitudes.
Changes come in many guises. Sometimes it’s as if the Universe throws them at us without invitation and other times it’s because we’re actively seeking to make something in our lives look and feel different. Either way, it’s not always welcome or easy and it’s even harder if there’s some deep resistance inside you that is preventing it. In order to make change, we need to find ways of letting go of the things that hold us back. But let me reassure you that if you’re anxious about making – or having to make – changes, it’s a perfectly normal human reaction. Know that you’re not weak or hopeless or useless if you feel this way.
Resistance to change is frequently linked to fear, which is about not feeling safe. And if you don’t feel safe about doing something, no matter how much you (or other people) say you’ve got to do it, you may find it impossible to take any action which might alter the situation. There may also be a nagging uncertainty that even if you make this change, things aren’t necessarily going to be any better. You might even be afraid that you’re not going to be able to cope with any changes after you’ve made them.
Sometimes folk unconsciously self-sabotage to prevent change happening i.e. they will act in certain ways that de-rail any transformation of the situation. Sometimes people find themselves in two minds about wanting to change i.e. a part of you wants to change and another part of you doesn’t. This can result in no movement and no change. It’s also possible to become so firmly attached to problems that they become a protection against having to do anything about them! Again, you stay stuck.
So how can you help yourself to cope with any one of these situations?
Well, any resistance or anxiety you feel around the idea of making a change is going to be lodged as energy somewhere in your body and you will easily be able to feel where that is. (I’ll explain how in a minute). So my suggestion (if you haven’t learnt EFT) is to use EMO (formerly known as EmoTrance) in the first instance. This is a gentle way of shifting energy (and problems) which always allows you to work at your own pace. Here’s how you do it:
Ask yourself: “When I think about how unsafe it feels to …. “ (fill in the name of the problem here)……, “where do I feel it in my body?”
You will immediately sense where it is – perhaps a tightness in the throat, or discomfort in the belly or whatever. Don’t over-think or analyze what you might feel or where you feel it. Go with the first insight you have as to where the energy of this problem may be lodged and you can be sure you’ll be right! You might also get a sense of the energy having a shape or a colour (though it doesn’t matter if you don’t). If you do, just make a mental note of it.
Put your hands on your body exactly where you feel this energy of “unsafe-ness” and ask yourself where this energy wants to flow. Encourage it to move by stroking your body (like you might stroke a cat) in its chosen direction. As you do this, think of that feeling softening and moving and allow it to flow wherever it wants to go. The nature of energy is to move and ultimately this stuck energy will want to leave the body completely. It will therefore find an exit through some part of your anatomy whether through the hands, the feet, the mouth, one of your big toes or wherever!
Keep stroking this energy in the direction it wants to go for a few moments and then stop. Take a big breath and go back inside your body to check the original sensation. How does it feel now? You may feel there’s less of it. If you sensed a shape or colour to it, you may notice that this has altered. If so, that’s OK. Just notice the changes and also observe whether you’re starting to feel more at ease with the idea of this change. Keep repeating the process with the stuck energy. If the energy changes direction, go with it and stroke it in that direction. Don’t try to manipulate it in the direction you THINK it should go. Keep doing this until it’s gone or at least feels a lot easier.
This process helps you to de-stress which is always helpful. Often it can help you let go of your problem completely. It’s very simple to do and surprisingly effective. However, if you prefer, you can always target the problem more specifically by using the EFT tapping process if you’ve learnt it. In addition, you could also use some HeartMath breathing (breathing as if you were able to breathe in and out of your heart instead of your lungs) for 5-10 minutes as this can also be very helpful in assisting you towards feeling more calm and centred.
You can always tell when you’ve overcome a problem because instead of the inner turbulence you’ve been feeling about it, you experience either a greater sense of ease or a state of inner peace depending on how much you’ve shifted and let go. Experiencing stillness and tranquility not only changes our view, it allows our entire energy body and biochemistry to benefit from a harmonious coherence with each and every part of ourselves. Body mind and spirit become one. It’s a good feeling!
If you’d like a check-list to help you know when you’ve attained a tranquil mind, here’s a list of the Ten Symptoms of Inner Peace as perceived by Wayne Dyer – author and spiritual teacher – who passed away recently. Thank you Wayne for your wisdom, insight and generosity. Rest in peace.
- A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences.
- An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
- A loss of interest in judging other people.
- A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others
- A loss of interest in conflict
- A loss of the ability to worry.
- Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation
- Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature
- Frequent attacks of smiling.
- An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.
Wishing you healing and release with any aspect of change that may be arising in you and causing pain and sadness.