Years ago, when I was training to be a Polarity Therapist and embarking for the first time on my journey into the world of Alternative Therapy, I was always being told about the need to have more trust. There was an awful lot of emphasis on this and it used to make me feel intensely irritated because at the time, I found the whole idea of trusting very unacceptable. I was, in any case, only used to thinking of trust in terms of trusting people, and up until that point, I was so bogged down with memories about being let down by this or that person in the past, the idea of trusting more seemed to me to be utterly foolhardy. I hadn’t really thought about trusting my intuition because I didn’t consider that I had much of that. And as for trusting the Universe………well, that was unthinkable!!!.
One of the big things I hadn’t grasped at that time (and oh boy! – there were a lot of things I hadn’t grasped!), was just how much trust is tied up with expectation which in turn is linked to positive and negative thinking. I didn’t realise how our thoughts affected everything that we experience – people, things, relationships, career, etc., etc. and that changing one’s thoughts can literally change one’s life.
It took time to sink in, but little by little I began to understand that if I always expected the worst, I would more than likely get negative events coming into my life. But conversely, if I kept myself open to the possibility of things turning out well, I’d experience distinctly more positive outcomes. It was, to say the least, quite an eye-opener…..
Little by little, I began tentatively to apply this openness to numerous areas of my life. Whereas once I might have assumed, for example, that people didn’t like me because they didn’t talk to me, now I was able to consider that they might in fact simply be shy! Rather than holding on to the limiting belief that I wasn’t good enough in a multitude of different ways, I began working on what had led me to think that this was true and started to develop a kinder and more appreciative attitude towards myself. And instead of spending many an anxious night worrying about my financial situation, I started to practice feeling gratitude for all the things I already had, instead of dwelling on the things that I lacked, and this led me into feeling much more abundant and happy.
The changes that resulted from this different way of thinking mostly appeared subtly and over a period of time, and they really started to change my life. Things began to unfold in ever more interesting ways. I realised that when I remained open to positive outcomes, I grew calmer and more confident. And I came to understand that when I didn’t lay down precise conditions about how I wanted projects/relationships/events to turn out but instead, simply TRUSTED that they would unfold in the best possible way for all concerned, there was less struggle and more ease in my life.
I’d grown up hearing sayings like: “Everything turns out for the best” and “Every cloud has a silver lining” and now I could finally believe the truth of them. I began to see that there are reasons for everything that happens and that it doesn’t matter if you can’t see what those reasons are, because all you have to do is to TRUST that they’re happening in absolutely the right way and at the right time! In other words, I was slowly coming to believe in a benevolent universe.
When you’re trying to find your way to a new place in your life, the way forward can often be hard to see. And it’s not always easy to work out which route you have to take to get to where you think you want to go. Some roads take you in the right direction, some don’t and others get you there via the scenic route! And being in that limbo state of being neither where you were NOR where you want to be, can sometimes leave you feeling bewildered, scared, vulnerable or low.
M Scott Peck (author of “The Road Less Travelled” – a book that any aspiring spiritual seeker or pursuer of personal development should read) says: “If we know exactly where we’re going, exactly how to get there, and exactly what we’ll see along the way, we won’t learn anything”. And it’s true! When we focus only on what we are aiming for, we miss a lot and therefore can’t learn from anything else that may be happening in our lives.
What we need to do is to surrender to what Deepak Chopra calls “The wisdom of uncertainty”. For when we allow ourselves to accept being in that space of unknowing, we are better able to open up to receive guidance and see the way forward. It’s OK not to know! Because the moment we surrender to not knowing, paradoxically, things open up and get clearer and often simpler.
Going into the unknown nudges you into the here and now. It keeps you alert, awake and aware. Surrender to that space, and TRUST (!) and you’re then able to get out of your own way. If you try to exert too much control over events, you run the risk of actually preventing the Universe from helping you to arrive at the very place you’re trying to reach! By surrendering to not knowing, you allow for the seemingly impossible to become possible. You might also find that miracles really CAN happen sometimes.
I’m venturing into the unknown myself at the moment. I’m currently moving into a different way of managing my business which hopefully will allow me to free up more time for writing and a few other projects I’m toying with. It’s a juggling act and I don’t know how it’s going to work. I have no idea What the outcome might be but I’m trusting that it will unfold in the best possible way…….
So, if you’re in a place of change or flux, try keeping your mind open about how it will all turn out in the end. Avoid laying down conditions about what the outcome has to be. Keep your thoughts positive, dwell in the wisdom of uncertainty and remember the importance of the attitude of gratitude. Accept each change that happens knowing that it’s all part of a greater plan and let go of the need to know the reasons behind everything. You can eliminate a lot of struggle by learning to trust that even though whatever you’re aiming for may seem out of reach at the moment – you’re getting there!